home
by lesbianshipsaye
Summary: based on 1x16 Tamerlane and Iran, dark fic
1. Chapter 1

There was so much death. Evidence of the bloody night was everywhere. Elizabeth stared at the bodies hanging by the street. There were many more dead by the side of the road. As she looked out the car window, she could not help but think of her own kids. This neighborhood looked so much like her own. One of the bodies was a young boy with light brown hair. He was lying face down. She could tell he had been running when he was shot dead. Elizabeth could not stop herself from seeing Jason lying there. She needed to keep reminding herself, her family was safe.

Elizabeth needed to go home. She needed to see her babies, needed Henry to tell her everything was going to be alright. The secretary could not stop playing the nights events over and over in her head. The worst part, that some of her detail had died. They were her men and she brought them here, and they died protecting her.

 _Fred was dead and this was all her fault. She shouldn't have come, this was such a mistake. Now his blood is on her hands, quite literally._

Elizabeth's thoughts and memories were all blurring together. As much as she did not want to go over the nights events, her mind forced her to go over it in detail.

 _Elizabeth felt trapped underneath Fred's heavy weight. She was trying to move away, when suddenly someone lifted his limp body off of the secretary. ._

 _"Well well, look what we have here," a voice said in a playful tone, "So, it is true. The United States was stupid enough to send us over a little treat."_

 _Elizabeth tried to see who was talking but when she turned to move a foot pressed into her back. She was slammed back down into the floor. Panic rose in Elizabeth, she was currently in an active war zone with no contact to her security team. She thought about the conversation she had with Henry the night before leaving, about her dying. And thought about how he was right, she will die here._

The journey back home was quiet. Elizabeth thought maybe it was because she had lost so many of her own. This made her feel deeply guilty. She could not understand why she lived, and other died, died for her.

 _Elizabeth squirmed, trying to get free. "Not so fast. You're going to stay right there Madam Secretary." He flipped her over so her back was on the floor and he could stare into her eyes._

 _"What do you want?" Elizabeth asked trying to hid the fear in her voice. There were three of them. One was holding her down, he was sitting on her lap with her wrists pinned to the ground. The other two stood nearby holding their large guns._

 _The man onto of Elizabeth chuckled. "What do I want?" he repeated in a mocking tone. "We came here to finish off Javani, but I can see that is taken care of," he looked over to Jovani's dead body. "I did not expect to get so lucky as to find you here." he continued. "I have been thinking about what I would do to you if we were to ever cross paths."_

 _His hands released her wrists and traveled up her body landing on her breasts. Elizabeth took the opportunity to punch him in the face. She tried to push him off but one of the others pulled her hands above her head while the other one pushed the hot butt on the gun into her temple._

 _"You don't have to do this," Elizabeth begged as his hands continued to assault her body._

 _"Oh Honey, yes I do. I need to let your country know just how we feel about the United States." He paused for a moment, "It's my way of saying fuck you." He started laughing, which was followed by the laughter of the other men._

 _The burning hot metal pressed harder. She let out a quiet whimper. She could feel his hands traveling down her body. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to escape her reality. Henry. Henry. Think of Henry. He is safe, warm, loving. It's not working. She could fell his hands getting lower. They stopped at her pants. He undid the button on her pants._

 _….._

 _Her prayers were answered. Warm red liquid splashed onto her body. He was dead. Everything was happening to fast for Elizabeth to process. What was left of her detail had stormed into the room. There was a spray of bullets and the man on top of, inside of, Elizabeth fell dead. He fell forward onto her chest. She quickly pushed him off jumping away to compose herself._

 _Elizabeth fixed her pants and straighten her shirt which was ripped at the top. The rip made Elizabeth feel more exposed but in reality did not reveal much skin._

Everything was still so quiet. Elizabeth couldn't stand it. She wondered if it was because they knew what had just happened. Everyone kept looking at her, looking at her with pity. She wondered how many of them knew the truth.

"Madam Secretary," it was one of her detail. One of the ones who survived. His voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "It's time to go." They had finally made it to the plane.

Relief flooded Elizabeth. She could not wait to get back. If only she could get home, then this would all be better. She just had to get out the bunker. Elizabeth had been griping to the blanket the medic had given her.


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth could only remember bits and pieces from her journey home. On the flight out of Iran she felt numb. Her trauma was too recent, she was unable to fully process what was happening. The most clear parts of the journey were in Landstuhl. The team stopped to regroup and receive medical treatment in Germany.

Elizabeth felt like she was in a daze. She had been lead into a private hospital room and given a hospital gown. She simply could not bring herself to put it on. Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. The walls were on off white color. Every dull. The concentrated on the paint, anything was better than allowing her mind to roam.

The knock at the door took Elizabeth's attention away from the blank wall.

A young doctor walked into the room. She had long brown hair tied back into a ponytail. She could have not been more than thirty- five. The doctors dark brown eyes were trained on the secretary.

"Hello Madam Secretary, I'm Dr. Benman," she spoke kindly in an American accent. This detail was not lost on Elizabeth. Her CIA training always gave her comfort. She liked to be able to read situations and people. She had been expecting a German doctor, so she took note of the detail wondering if it was planned.

"Call me Elizabeth," she said returning the smile the doctor offered.

"Elizabeth, are you aware of any other injuries besides the contusion on your back?" Dr. Benman asked softly.

"No," Elizabeth answer avoiding eye contact.

"I'm sorry I have to ask you this, but Elizabeth.." she took a slight pause, "were you sexually assaulted?"

Elizabeth knew they would ask. She knew this was going to happen but the question still shocked her.

She took a deep breath and said, just above a whisper, "Yes."

"Did this assault include vaginal penetration?" she continued.

Elizabeth took a deep breath but didn't reply. She looked up back at the spot on the wall she was staring at before, to get her courage back up to answer the question. Answering the question made this nightmare real. She would have to accept that this was not something she would wake up from.

"Elizabeth, I know this is difficult but I need you to answer. I need to know. This will impact your treatment," the doctor explained.

Elizabeth knew this, she tried to prepare herself for the questions before they arrived at the hospital.

"Yes," she whispered.

The doctor stitched up her back, preformed a pelvic exam, and administered the proper medications. She never mentioned that Elizabeth did not changed into the gown. Before leaving, she was given a new outfit from her suitcase. Blake had given the staff a turtle neck and pants. She was happy to be wearing clean cloths.

…

Finally, the secretary was home. Safe in the United States, at her own door step. Elizabeth was relieved to finally be home. She came into the door and was first greeted by Henry. She walked in and instantly fell into his arms. His arms always made her feel safe. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her husband. She instantly felt warm and loved. The feel and smell of her husband gave her great comfort.

Henry instinctively wrapped his arms around his wife returning the embrace. She instantly tensed up. Elizabeth's feelings of security quickly vanished. His arms around her were too much, it felt like he was strangling her. Quickly, the secretary pulled away. Henry looked back at her confused but before he had time to ask about her reaction their kids arrived excited to see their mother.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry did not ask her any questions but he needed answers. He could tell that she had been through hell. Her eyes looked different, duller like their sparkle was gone. She also looked tired but also on guard. The few hours that she had been home she seemed jumpy, on guard at all times.

They were getting ready for bed. Following the routine they did every night, but today felt somehow different. Elizabeth brushed her teeth and washed her face in silence. Then it was time for her to change into pajamas. She was very nervous for this step. Elizabeth did not want Henry to see her body. She knew this was irrational, he has seen her naked every day for decades but she did not want him to see her like this. She felt dirty. When Elizabeth had seen her own body at the hospital she was horrified by the extent of bruises that covered her body.

Henry could sense her unease. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. Can you leave so I can change?" Elizabeth replied tears formed in her eyes.

Henry was hurt, he wanted to get his hands on the bastards who did this to his wife. "Don't apologize. It's okay."

Henry walked out of the bathroom to their shared bedroom. He was disgusted to think of what might have happened to his wife but he needed to know every detail.

Elizabeth tried to pull her sweater off over her head to no avail. Her arms and shoulders were to sore and would not move as she wanted them to. She tried to pull the shirt off moving her body a slightly different way only to create immense pain.

Elizabeth fell to the ground and started to cry. She was very frustrated being unable to do something so simple for herself.

Henry could hear his wife crying on the other side of the door and ran to her aid. He wanted to run into the bathroom and hold her but knew he needed to respect the privacy she asked for.

He lightly rapped on the door. "Elizabeth, honey, are you okay in there?"

Pulling herself off the floor, Elizabeth whipped her tears. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy and tear were still evident on her face. Henry did not need to see her like this, a complete mess, a puddle of herself. She splashed some cold water on her face whipping the water and tears away with a towel. When she was satisfied the tears were gone, she answered. "I'm fine…." She paused, "Could you please help me?"

Opening the door, Henry walked into the bathroom.

"I can't pull it up." Elizabeth explained.

Henry did not answer. He didn't need to, they did not need words. Henry pulled the shirt over Elizabeth's head. He tried to hide his shock and angry at what he saw. Both of her forearms had large dark bruises, he swore they looked like hands. Her upper back was covered in a giant bruise. This was enough to fill him with anger towards her attacker but what bothered him the most were the bite marks. He could see two and was terrified by them. There was one on her neck under what appeared to be a hicky. The other was on her breast poking out above her bra. He helped her into her night shirt, still in silence. He had no words.

Then he helped her out of her work pants and into her sweats. He looked away trying to ignore the bruises which painted her thighs.

AN:: I'm sorry that's so short! I am still working on the next section. Thank you so much for the reviews so far! They make me so happy and give me motivation to keep writing


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